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Sassapphras

Sassapphras

A lass with sass / Who's full of class / Yet has the brass / To pass gas / To kick your ass / To be crass

Jeans, jeans, the magical... uh... suit?

Authors seem to write all their heroes in "sexy" faded jeans nowadays.  Have you seen faded jeans?  They absolutely do not top a nice pair of new jeans.  I don't know who the authors are trying to kid.

Oooh, shiny!

Me and audiobooks are not friends.  I can't listen worth shit.

White Trash Zombie Apocalypse (White Trash Zombie, #3) - Diana Rowland Audiobook

Grin and bear it?

Since when is a grin less powerful than a smile?  Kristen Ashley (author) has the habit of "downgrading" her character's smiles to grins, and it throws me off every time.

She also has a habit of using prepositions incorrectly.  Especially the word 'in'.  I.e. (these are not actual quotes):
      "He laid her down in the bed."
      "She crawled in the couch."

Even White Trash Zombies Get the Blues (White Trash Zombie, #2) - Diana Rowland,  Allison McLemore Audiobook: Same review re: voice actor as with the first book.

The second book in the series was frustrating because Angel kept getting shit on. I do like how she got hers in the end, being able to show everyone how capable and NOT stupid she is. One thing I love about this series is the cussing. I know, weird, right? I absolutely hate books that pussyfoot around cuss words. I know I say this a lot in my reviews here on Goodreads, but grow some fucking balls! Okay, so that doesn't actually pertain to this book. And I love almost everything about Angel's personality. The only thing I don't like about it is how she's not as aggressive when she's being wronged by someone she cares about (ie. her dad, Marcus).

Now, why the not high rating in review to this and the first book? I can't get down with zombies. I have never been able to. And talking about being hungry all the time for brains, and the peeling of the flesh when rotting... UGH! Totally not sexy. Also, relationships with Angel seem very lacking in detail. We may get personality details on a few, but Angel honestly just feels so alone. I don't like that.
Dirty Little Secret - Jennifer Echols First I want to say that I love the author's writing style (I know that probably sounds like the beginning of another bad breakup line). It's so easy to get into and keep going. It feels like more often than not I'm putting books down because the writing is terrible. Which sucks, because there's a lot of great ideas out there without proper writing to back it up.

With this book, I had sort of a reverse issue. I did consider putting it down in the beginning, but it picked up in the middle and I was okay to keep going. However, although the story did get a little better, it kind of had me cringing towards the end.

I cannot stand people (fictional, or otherwise) with no backbone. I know that's harsh, as some people are just not fighters. But I've always been a fighter, and I've never had much sympathy. And I could not stand how much Bailey allowed her entire family to run roughshod over her. I hated them all, even her grandfather and sister. And I loathed Bailey for allowing it and making excuses for them. Grow a pair, pack up your bags and start your own fricken life! No sympathy. Only disgust. So, of course, the ending didn't do it for me. And after all the shit we went through in the book, we didn't even get a complete happy ending. It was all still about Bailey's sister. We were drug through the mud with Bailey, so the least we should get is the actual beginning of a professional career; a guarantee, if you will.

And Sam. Geez, dude, I know you have issues, but after the shit you pulled, no way. Bye bye. He started losing his appeal when he wouldn't even kiss Bailey in front of Charlotte. Like she was a dirty little secret. By the time they did the deed and he pulled that crap on Bailey... that is the nail in the coffin. You walk away and make him crawl his ass back to you. And if he doesn't, then oh fricken well. I swear Bailey is damn masochist. She refuses to leave the people who seemingly don't give a shit about her.

Overall, though, there were parts of Bailey's personality I liked. Probably the parts that didn't actually make sense, considering the other parts [that I hated]. Maybe she's bipolar? I wouldn't rule it out. However, I loved when she had confidence in herself and I did like that she never seemed to dislike her physical self (I'm fat, I'm ugly, nobody likes me, blah blah blah). And the thing that really kept me going was the musical aspect. I love when a heroine excels, and Bailey played the fiddle with flying colors (or so I assume, according to what was written).

Unfortunately, the things I hated about the story had such an affect to cement how I actually felt about it. Writing style, great. Characters, not so much.

*Warning: Undoubtedly contains typos and grammatical errors. I read into the wee hours of the morning, and although my eyes are blurry, I decided to soldier through and get this shit out of my head. Otherwise, I'll lie in bed for the two hours of sleep I have left thinking about it all instead of sleeping. Errors may or may not get fixed at a future time.
My Life As a White Trash Zombie (White Trash Zombie, #1) - Diana Rowland,  Allison McLemore Audiobook: 1/2 of the book. The voice actor is pretty good. Though like with all voice actors, voicing for cross gender parts is annoying. This actor happens to have a kind of Asian accent for most males, and talks so slow and soft during their parts.

eBook: 1/2 of the book. I couldn't start this while reading it myself. It was too boring. There's something about having a voice actor read it to me that changes the entire way I feel about a story. Luckily, I was far enough along in this one for it not to feel like such a big issue when I started reading it myself.
Silver Shark - Ilona Andrews Better than the first one. I just usually have a hard time getting into short stories. For some reason the writing always feels choppy.
Enemy Within - Marcella Burnard Awesome!

Okay, there were a few instances where I thought Ari should've stayed mad at Cullen a little longer, made him pay for his idiocy... but yeah, awesome.
Beg (Songs of Submission, # 1) - C.D. Reiss (Finished the first 6--the 7th isn't out at the time of this review.)

A lot of people say you'll like this if you like 50 Shades... well I have to say it is so much better than 50 Shades. I think the characters are more likable, and the writing is so, so far superior. Especially (and I use this word very strongly) for being short stories and erotica. The author is brilliantly talented in knowing how much of what to give. With all of the books combined, the story feels like a fully fledged series without all the added BS that drives me absolutely insane (namely, rehashing of previous novels).

I only have two real complaints: The first one is that book 6 leaves you hanging, and book 7 isn't out yet. If I had waited until October to read these, it wouldn't be an issue. The second is the price of the books. I did get books 1 and 4 for free, but the others seemed like full price for a regular-sized indie novel, which these weren't (being short stories). Though, since they're as filling as a normal sized book (remember the lack of BS comment?), I suppose this also isn't much of an issue.
Into the Hollow - Karina Halle I have to admit, I get really tired of Perry's wah-wah's. I'll be happy when the series is done (or I at least finish book 7--the last one out at the moment) but I have enjoyed it.
Alien Tango - Gini Koch Better than the first one. Not near as many I info dumps.
Touched by an Alien - Gini Koch Would've given this 4 stars if there were less info dumps and more action. Action for two seconds, info dumps for thirty minutes, and back again to two seconds of action. At least that's what it felt like.
Contract of Betrayal (Spectras Arise Trilogy, #2) - Tammy Salyer I have to admit, this installment didn't really do it for me. By 50% I knew I wasn't going to be happy with it, and by 75% I was rushing to finish.

I wasn't very impressed with Aly's character. She was naïve, and unwilling to even look at the truth if it produced a less than desirable outcome. And she was weak. She got hit a lot and didn't seem to hit back much. She felt more like a tag-along, or a secondary character in CoB, not offering much input but to disagree or bitch or deny. I've grown tired of the group she hangs around, and especially of Eleanor--(I also wasn't too impressed with her brother except at the very end). Honestly, at this point, the most interesting person is Rajcik, and as psychotic as it seems, I'd prefer him as a love match for Aly. Though he'd, of course, have to have a slight change of character and become completely loyal to Aly (even if he stayed psycho). Loyalty means more to me than almost anything else, and the fact that her team kept things from her means it's time for her skip out.

I still really like the author's writing style and would like to continue reading her novels. I know I'm just being a snoot about the story. I tend to bond with the main heroine, and when things don't go according to me, then I get frustrated. It's a character flaw I acknowledge but am not proud of.
Vain (The Seven Deadly, #1) - Fisher Amelie Okay, so there were some parts that felt contrived, but all in all, this was unputdownable. I prefer a bad girl gone good than these Mary Sue's you see everywhere in novels nowadays.

P.S. I adore the Glitch Mob reference--a band I've recently become acquainted with and love.
Contract of Defiance (Spectras Arise Trilogy, #1) - Tammy Salyer I really liked this one. It was easy to read and was fast-paced with a lot of action. And I love how tough Aly is.

There are a lot of books I put down (published and indie) because the writing is awful. I am so absolutely excited to find an author who knows how to write. I don't think there was even one eye-roll moment throughout the entire story. The only thing it could've offered to make it better was a little romance (not the gushy kind)... 'cause I love me some boy/girl relationships.